Dave Cain: Welcome to unsuitable on Rea Radio, the award-winning financial services and business advisory podcast that challenges your old school business practices and their traditional business suit culture. Our guests are industry professionals and experts who will challenge you to think beyond the suit and tie, while offering you meaningful modern solutions to help enhance your company’s growth. I’m your host, Dave Cain.
As a leader in your organization, community, and industry, working towards developing meaningful relationships with others in your circle and beyond is critical, but networking and developing these types of relationships don’t always come easy to some people.
Natalie Siston, a networking, relationship building, and professional development coach, along with the founder of her own business, Small Town Leadership, is with us today to talk about what makes her approach different, and why with the right tools and motivation, anybody can find networking success. Welcome to unsuitable, Natalie.
Natalie Siston: Happy to be here.
Dave: Great, we’re going to talk about networking, and I think before we jump into that we’ve got a couple things we need to talk about. First of all, love the name of your business, Small Town Leadership. What is Small Town Leadership, and what’s the company all about?
Natalie: Well, thanks for the question, I think it’s a great place to start. Small Town Leadership was literally one of those middle of the night thoughts that came to me. It was about three years ago I engaged with a professional coach. I was at a place in my career where I just needed a little oomph. You need that time every once in a while, and during this time I learned that there were two things that were missing in my life that I did from the time I was little, and that was speaking and writing. So the coach said, “Okay, well go figure out how you can do more of that. That seems pretty easy.” Well, I was thinking bigger, and I was thinking, “Hmm, what is it that I like to speak and talk about?” And a lot of it comes back to my small town roots.
So I was born and raised in a town called Republic, Ohio, population 600. Do not blink when you drive through because there’s no four-way stop, there’s no stop light, but I think I learned that most everything I knew to be successful in my career I had learned by growing up in that small-knit community. That’s where the idea of Small Town Leadership came from, because the type of leader I am is rooted in those small town values, the small town stories, and the small town network and connection that I knew to grow and love as a child. Eventually I left the nest and made it out into the big world, but continue to look back on those small town roots.
Dave: Sure, you got a great story. We talked about your entrepreneur spirit, which is alive and well. You certainly maintain a professional career, a family, in fact, I think you shared with me that the kids know that Mommy’s starting a business, and is an entrepreneur, and of course that work, life balance. So you’ve got a lot on your plate, but you have great passion.
Natalie: Absolutely. I think about the kids who are still growing up in towns like I was from. When I grew up I didn’t really know the possibilities that were out there for me, and it took living in California, it took being a student twice at Ohio State, to really see the possibility. So if I can be part of the voice to bring possible to what they think is impossible, then my job is done.
Dave: Plus, in addition, you blog, you write, you speak, you coach. Are you a good cook at home?
Natalie: I cook to survive. My husband does the cooking to enjoy.
Dave: So the family understands the dynamics, and what it takes to be entrepreneur?
Natalie: They certainly do. I consider myself a strong female leader, raising two little girls, as you’ve said they know Mommy’s starting a business. Even yesterday I had a moment where I wasn’t going to be home in the evening because I was going to an event, and I told my six year old this, and she said, “Mommy are you going to do Small Town Leadership tonight?” And I said, “Yes, I’m going to do Small Town Leadership tonight.”
Dave: Fantastic. Great story. We’re going to talk about networking, and I think a great place to start in is … you and I had coffee a couple days ago in a local coffee shop and we’re talking about networking and the dos and don’ts and all of those kind of things, and a gentleman two tables over heard us talking and came over and immediately began to network with us about stuff, just business in general. You and I both kind of chuckled and thought, “Wow, that’s pretty interesting, and unusual,” and it occurred to me after that happened, is how many people would network like that? How many people would be comfortable networking like that?
Natalie: Absolutely, and to paint a picture, I mean, we were two tables down, it was pretty loud, and the man picked up on one sentence I said, and immediately approached us. We all exchanged business cards, I’ve already heard back from him. That’s also part of it, right? Is not only was he bold enough to interrupt our conversation and come over, but he engaged us in some meaningful dialogue, made a personal connection with both of us, and then followed up with actually doing the things he said he was going to do. That’s textbook A+ job, Tom. Good job.
Dave: Yeah. Let’s say that I had an employee or a team member that … let’s just say his name was …, and networking was very daunting to him. That was a daunting event, or that would have been a daunting event for Bicksler. If we would of said, “Bicksler, go to that table over there and introduce yourself and get your business card,” I don’t know if he could do it. Can you coach somebody out of that?
Natalie: Sure. I actually have this challenge out right now on my blog. I posted a video on it recently as well, and I call it the Hey Friend Challenge. I think this is the best place to start, and it helps warm you up for experiences like that. So the premise of the Hey Friend Challenge is this, you think about people that you see in your everyday life, maybe it is that barista at the coffee shop that you see every single morning. Maybe it’s the person at a desk 10 down from yours at work, but you don’t know this person. Maybe it’s the family that always sits in front of you in the same pew in church every Sunday. You see these people all the time, you feel like you know them, but you really don’t.
So my challenge is for people to actually step in to those people, hold out your hand one day, say, “Hi, I’m Natalie. I know we see each other all the time, I should know your name and more about you than just that you work the front desk here at my gym,” and you start there.
Dave: So that is your secret sauce? Part of your secret sauce?
Natalie: It’s part of my secret sauce, and I’m going to tell you it’s hard. Even for me to think about that it’s hard, but I did it yesterday, so I try to practice what I preach on a very regular basis. There are people I see every day at work who work in a different department, and we just pass like we’re ships in the night. So I had an opportunity at a break room to see one of these folks, and I just said, “Hey, we see each other all the time, I should probably know your name,” and we exchanged names and pleasantries, and now you better bet the next time I see this person I have a little more comfort to step in and have a little bit more of a conversation.
Dave: So you mentioned the first time you did that was very difficult. What about the second time? The third time? Get a little easier?
Natalie: Absolutely. It’s that circle of comfort. It’s every time you do something it makes you a little more sure of yourself the next time, the next time, and that’s probably why our friend at the coffee shop was so darn comfortable with what he did, because he’s been doing that for years.
Dave: What was interesting is you and I looked after he left, neither one of us was offended by him coming over and interrupting our conversation. We thought, “Wow, that’s pretty cool that he felt comfortable doing that.”
Natalie: Absolutely. I feel like we’ve started putting up walls in our life, and they’re so arbitrary. Our phones and our devices are part of this because it’s a total comfort, safety comfort blanket, that you can just look down and be like, “Oh, I don’t want to interact with people. I can just look at this very important thing that’s on my Facebook feed,” but we need to stop that.
We need to actually start putting out our hand to shake the hand, get to know the person, because ultimately that’s what we’re all wired for. We are so wired for connection, we’re so wired to know people, that’s how we were in tribes way, way, way, way back in evolutionary times, and we’ve really just gotten away from it. We go to our home, we pull in our garage, we barely talk to our neighbors, and I think that is part of the reason why I’ve gotten so excited about this idea of making meaningful connections, because after running my business for two years I realized that’s part of the message that I’m trying to spread, is to make every place I am feel like Republic, Ohio.
Dave: Now I understand where the name of the company came from, Small Town Leadership. There’s a lot of things of which you just said are alive and well in the small town, the core values.
Natalie: Absolutely, and I think that’s what I appreciate about your company is that you are in these small markets, and I’d be intrigued to go talk to your staff and see what it’s like to be serving businesses all across the region, but being located right in their small towns. Maybe people who probably grew up there, or their parents still live there, that kind of thing. There’s something to be said for those community roots that are keeping us as a society in a strong place, and we need to tap into when we’ve gotten ourselves to the big city and suburb.
Dave: Let me throw a question at you that might seem obvious, but I think you shot me down a little bit the other day when I asked you this question, is that in certain organizations networking is reserved for the outgoing folks, the partiers, the folks that want to get out, but that’s not necessarily true after talking to you. Is there room for everybody to do networking?
Natalie: Oh, absolutely, and I’ll tell you a little secret. I’m actually introverted on the introvert scale, and I find a lot of people I talk to most closely about networking are introverts. So the idea of showing up at that cocktail party where there’s going to be 100 people, it’s very, very daunting. It’s all about giving yourself the tactics and the tools to be able to succeed in that environment, and there are some quick things you can do, like get there first, make sure there’s name tags, look at the guest’s list beforehand, set a really solid goal.
There’s lots of tactical things you can do, and I’ve written about a lot of this, but it’s also just about reminding yourself that, “You know what? If I walk away from this networking event, or this staff engagement that we have, and I engage in one meaningful conversation, that succeeds in my mind.” Not that fact that I shook every person’s hand who was there, or I passed out all my business cards in my briefcase. It’s really about the depth of that conversation and the fact that you could then probably go back to that person and call on them for assistance and help. That’s success in my mind, not an empty wallet of business cards.
Dave: Do you have any suggestions, and I’m sure when I ask you this question you’re going to say, “Boy that’s happened to me before,” because it’s happened to me for sure many times is, you’re out networking, you introduce yourself, you meet somebody, and you forget their name within five minutes. Any suggestions?
Natalie: Just humility.
Dave: Hire your company to help with tactics?
Natalie: It really is about humility. It’s saying to the person, “I am so sorry, I forgot your name.” Honesty works, right? Honesty works, and even if it is later down the road if it’s running into one of your children’s friend’s parents, and you know you’ve been introduced to them before, it’s just saying, “I’ve forgotten your name.”
Once again, it’s just kind of like that stranger stepping up to us. People aren’t going to be offended, they’re actually probably going to be happier that you care enough to admit that you want to know their name and you’ve forgotten it.
Dave: So we think they’re offended, but in your opinion, that’s not really happening?
Natalie: No, and I can’t control what other people are thinking, so that’s also another key thing in networking is just do your very best, and you can’t control the outcome of the other person on the other side of that.
Dave: You mentioned the term meaningful connections. Why is it important to make meaningful connections with an emphasis on the meaningful?
Natalie: I think I’ve looked at LinkedIn, and you can have all these little classifications based on how many connections you have. You’re in the 10,000 plus group. You’re in the 900 plus group, and that’s great, and I know people who do all their business through LinkedIn would refute me, but if I’m looking to truly connect one-to-one with somebody for business advice, for just personal connection, it’s way more important in my mind to be able to go through my LinkedIn list, whether that be smaller than the next persons, and be able to recall how I know or was introduced to those people on my list, versus being connected to every single person in the world.
Dave: You’d mentioned throughout today the writings and blogs, how can I get access to those writings? Can you share your website with us and our listeners?
Natalie: Sure, it’s very simple. It’s Smalltownleadership.com, and my blog is there, and some videos, and information about what I do from coaching and speaking. It’s all right there.
Dave: Smalltownleadership.com, that’s pretty easy to remember. Good site, I checked it out in anticipation of our meeting today. It’s a good site, good stuff on there.
Natalie: Terrific.
Dave: How do you start networking? Let’s say you have some young team members, new to the team, and they want to get involved. How do you start networking?
Natalie: I think the best way to start networking is to start with where you are. There’s a tool that I recommend people use and it’s downloadable on my website, but it’s a networking map. It’s four concentric circles, and in the middle, you put who your go-to’s are. Who’s my best friend at work? Who’s my closest connection? And you build out from there into the connections that might not be as tight, but people you might be more interested in getting to know.
I suggest people start in those circles, and they start by having the conversations, by having the coffee meetings, the lunch meetings, the phone call, the video conference if you’re not local. You start within those connection circles and from there you really think about what your goal is for networking. Is my goal simply to gain more knowledge? Is my goal to actually get more contacts to grow my business? Once you define that goal, then you can call on the people who are inside of those circles to ask them to be helpers for you.
Dave: So again, it’s the tactics. You just don’t show up, you have to have a game plan?
Natalie: Absolutely. Start with the end in mind, have that goal.
Dave: Okay, help me out with this one. Again, a team member, let’s go back to Bicksler. Let’s say he’s so overwhelmed by networking. What are some tactics again, let’s revisit the tactics that we can help the individual that’s overwhelming?
Natalie: I think in that case for the person who is super overwhelmed, it’s talking to a mentor, it’s talking to other colleagues who are more comfortable with it and just practicing. What is it that you’re going to talk about with these people? It’s practicing that elevator speech. I know that’s beaten to death, but it is super important to be able to articulate really clear who you are, what you’re all about, and how other people could help serve you, and how you can serve them, but it’s having that person start with trusted people, tell their stories, and then ask those trusted people, “Hey, can you make a connection for me?” And start there.
Dave: In your opinion is that elevator speech still a foundational item in your networking?
Natalie: It absolutely is. Absolutely is. I had a networking meeting yesterday, and I just wished for the person on the other side of that to be just a little more crisp, because I wasn’t sure how I could help them. I think nine times out of ten, when people accept an invitation to a networking meeting, they’re there because they want to help, but if you’re really broad and the world is the oyster, gosh, it’s really hard for me to identify where in my world I can even help. So give me a place to start.
Dave: As busy as you are building the business and writing, you probably don’t get to watch a lot of TV. I’ll bet I can guess your number one TV show. You might only watch one TV show. My guess is it’s, This is Us. Is that correct?
Natalie: Oh my gosh, you read my mind? Do you know what’s on my DVR for tonight?
Dave: This is Us? Have you seen this week’s episode?
Natalie: No, don’t ruin it for me.
Dave: I won’t. Who’s your favorite character? You like Toby on there?
Natalie: I’m a Sterling K. Brown fan. I worked at Stanford as my first job out of college, so you got to root for … .
Dave: There you go. So you do have some time to relax? Just kidding.
Natalie: I do. I do. It’s super important to relax, yeah.
Dave: I don’t know that I’ve run across a coach that helps networking. That seems to be kind of a very unique situation, something that’s often overlooked?
Natalie: Absolutely.
Dave: Let’s say you were consulting with members of the Rea & Associates team on networking. What are two things you would recommend to the team?
Natalie: First is to look back on all those connections that you’ve made that have been meaningful to you, and it could go back to college, it could go back to high school. It’s to look back, think of one or two people who have made a big impact, and that day pick up the phone, send an email, heck, write a letter, and say thank you to that person.
That’s first and foremost because it gets you in a mindset of gratitude of, “Gosh, people have helped me in the past, so people will likely to be helpful in the future.” That’s the first, is look back.
The second part is really asking themselves, “Why do I want to network? What is happening in my career and in my life right now that I need a network for?” And then starting with the key people to help take that off.
Dave: Yeah, very good. In the last few minutes we have, I want to pull down on some of your experience on the entrepreneur side. What recommendations can you give to an entrepreneur that’s starting their business? Maybe based on some experience, or there are some things you’re working now in Small Town Leadership. What are some keys for you?
Natalie: I think one key for me is to actually be out in the community and to be out with people. I came to a big realization not that long ago that I had been hiding behind my computer. For two years I was building a website, I was writing, and everything I’ve done I’ve done on my own, I built it from scratch, and so for me, that’s a big sense of pride, but it’s built. It doesn’t need a lot of tweaking, it doesn’t need me to be sitting behind it, nurturing it. What I need to be out and doing, and I’m doing … and I think the reason I’m sitting here with you today is that I put myself out in the community and connections were made.
It’s being out with people who you can serve, because the more conversations you have, the more likely it is that you’ll understand how you can serve them. That’s rule number one, is show up with a servant’s heart and things come back to you.
The second thing is not trying to boil the ocean. I’ve also been guilty of this, but it’s getting really crisp and clear. One exercise that I’ve done recently with a couple of coaching friends is together we built our five years, three years, one year, six months, one month, and one-week plans. Nothing in all of my coach training that’s gone on now for two years has been that powerful, because I can read where I want to be in five years, and now every single step I’m taking I can say, “Does that help get me closer to that five-year vision?” And if it does, awesome, go all out, and if it doesn’t, I’ve got a decision to make about whether I proceed with that or not.
Dave: Great advice, great advice. Our guest today has been Natalie Siston, founder of Small Town Leadership, and you’ll see her around the Dublin, Columbus community speaking, writing, blogging. Look her up, I think you’ll be very impressed with some of the core values of her company.
Thanks again for joining us on unsuitable today, Natalie.
Natalie: Thanks so much for having me.
Dave: Listeners, there are a variety of resources on Natalie’s website designed to help you get started. Just go to Smalltownleadership.com or visit this week’s podcast page on Reacpa.com for a link to her site. For those of you who haven’t subscribed to our podcast yet, all I’ve got to say, we’ve been doing this for 128 episodes, what are you waiting for?
As always, thanks for listening. We hope you continue to find value in our little award-winning podcast. Until next time, I’m Dave Cain, encouraging you to loosen up your tie and think outside the box.
Disclaimer: The views expressed on unsuitable on Rea Radio are our own, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Rea & Associates. The podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended to replace the professional advice you would receive elsewhere. Consult with a trusted advisor about your unique situation, so they can expertly guide you to the best solution for your specific circumstance.